Dang Aquatic Hippies Space

   Now I was wandering around over at Marine Dynamics in Englewood, Fl as usual and stumbled across the latest in functional, small workboats….. the Clearwater 16 Super Sport.

    Probably this is intended as a tender vessel or perhaps a Hardcore, unsinkable, self bailing launch but it is a perfect little platform for the person wanting to have a boat that is easy to take care of and has very little to go wrong….. Now to me that last part is the most important; if I am 80 miles or more from home, I like to know that I am on something like this – because the less that can go wrong … the less that will go wrong. Clearwater Skiffs has a full line of boats that meet that criteria.  Here is what you get for your money with Clearwater: 1 solid hull that you will probably give to your grandkids still in pretty good shape a bunch of years down the road, a simple center console, engine controls (shifter/throttle/key switch), a seat that does double duty as a cooler and the knowledge that you have not spent a whole lot and dont have to worry about breaking a bunch of frou frou crap your Southern self does not want on a boat anyway………There is a livewell option for the 16 Super Sport and it don’t cost a whole lot either.

     Now while this is a very functional workboat and has a ton of deck space for all of your gear it is a durn good boat for the single person or a couple who cant afford or just plain dont want some decked out high maintenance frou frou toy. It is perfect for 1 or 2 guys fishing and even with a little Yamaha 25 on it – this sucker cooks and books and on very little gas – which means you can spend more money on beer and beef jerky than at the gas pump……. Sure most commercial guys would convert that seat to a livewell but its already a cooler and it will hold a couple of days worth of ice and beer no problem – or lunch for a couple out to play for a day.  Personally I would just add a portable livewell and call it good. Then again for the couple that just wants to get out beaching and wandering around on very little gas at speeds that are more than enough to make it fun…… With 9 gallons in the tank (all she holds) you are not likely to run out of gas in a day because these are light little boats and the Yamaha 25hp 4 strokes that Marine Dynamics is fitting on them just barely sip the fuel anyway.

   So looking at her from a redneck standpoint this is a boat that will not set you back enough to worry about, heck buy an extra for your dad and one for your kid and you will still be less than buying the average used bayboat and even though this is based around a near flat bottom platform these little pups handle like a Southern boys dream. A little sharper than a Boston Whaler, a little more swishy in the rear than a Carolina Skiff JV15 but a lot more “solid” feeling overall than either. Where the Carolina Skiff JV cuts through like a razor trying to chop steel and a Boston Whaler in this class will jar your spine if you so much as take a ripple; These little Clear Water Skiffs are still the solid feel you want for those “stand up and run it” days  and you wont go home feeling like you were water skiing on the side of a mountain all day. Now that is important in a small boat. You see where the Carolina Skiff JV kind of “pucks and pops” the water at the front, making for a miserable ride at the end of the day and the Boston Whaler (older 17 Montauk series – I have not had the chance to run a new BW yet) squats back and gets rough at anything over a ripple; The nose on these is more like an older Crazed Cajun style. It slops the water underneath the boat with just enough taper you can take the average wake at a reasonable speed without going airborne or slamming your spine. In light chop you still have to back off her a bit same as her competitors but she takes it smooth and graceful – which is important to those of us who are getting old enough that our spinal comfort is an important factor.

   I am going to do my best to get the full line of Clearwaters in the water and let ya’all know what I think. So far after looking over the 210dl which I am in lust with and this 16 Super Sport which I am thinking would make a great back and forth to the keys boat – bout a 6 hour trip, top off in Marathon and do the top off thing again on the way home the next day Probably cut the 200 gallons or so that my 24 takes down to about maybe 35 gallons – and strangely these little 16 footers are smoother than my 24ft Carolina Skiff even though the 24 has all that extra weight (and a monster Yamaha out back).

   Ok, so you are looking for a good workboat with plenty of deckspace or you are looking for an unsinkable that can work the shallows…. You want a new boat but cant afford some frou frou flats boat rigged out for the casual fisher and then have to rip all that crap off to rig it for your line of work. Take a look at these Clearwater Skiffs…..

   From the bottom up they are an excellent workboat with full flotation integrated into the hull. Now these boys are taking what Carolina Skiff does just a few steps further. The floatation in these hulls is based around a COOSA transom and the rest is composite foam and fiberglass – Much in the spirit of a Carolina Skiff or a Boston Whaler they are unsinkable yet Clearwater takes those extra steps.

    Look at the rub rails and you can see they are reinforced so unlike a Carolina Skiff these puppies will still have nice edges in a few years (this is being written by someone who runs a Carolina Skiff Daily)   They took an extra step again in turning down and in with the side rub rails so they are stronger and less likely to break and crinkle when left rubbing against the docks or dragging nets up – heck they look and feel solid enough to handle crab traps and lobster pots for a good many years.

    This one I played with is a 21 because Marine Dynamics in Englewood, Florida does not yet have a 24 for me to do a fair comparison with. This boat has a wonderful center console with the controls located to where you can run it all day without getting fatigued. That seat behind the center console is actually a livewell for those tropicals and seahorses you get with the rest of your catch – or use it as a baitwell for rigging your long lines.  The fore and aft compartments/decks are not some flimsy crap like a lot of other skiffs on the market – Nope these are good, solid fiberglass composite that can take a beating. At the same time those compartments serve to reinforce the boat, making for one very solid skiff. In the deckspace arena this is one of the roomier skiffs out there and Clearwater Skiffs did not skimp on the deck surface, it is good, thick and can take it well when you goof and set the corner of your crab trap into it – This is one sweet thick deck surface that must have been thought out by someone who has spent a lot of time on workboats and did not like patching fiberglass. They did a good job and picked some excellent resin when they laid the glass on this deck.

   Economy wise a flat bottom boat is hard to beat. Decades of service have proven this. Here in Florida we have a lot of grass flats, shoals and shallows that make a flatbottom skiff desireable not just for the working person but at the same time for the person who just needs something that floats, has an engine, wont sink and will get them out to their favorite spots and back – the beauty is that the Clearwater Skiff 210DL costs less new for next years model (2010) than most used bay boats and if treated properly will last just as long. Since there is a lot less stuff to go wrong – a lot less will go wrong and that makes good economical sense for say the yankee who comes down here for the winter and just wants to get out on the water and doesn't need all the frills or simply wants to add a couple of rod holders and go fishing their favorite flats.

  All in all these are solid, practical workboats that can carry a load well and they are based around the standard of generations of fishers, workers and folks who just need a good, economical tender vessel that wont rob them when they buy it or at the pumps either one.

   Give Mark a holler at 941-716-4200 to arrange a seatrial or just check out one of these boats up close and personal today.

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Talking about YouTube - Timeline shows Bush, McCain warning Dems of financial and housing crisis...
  

Ok so a lot of folks have been wondering what exactly I am up to with the new tanks and why we would take down the shrimp hatchery…… Well Among other things I will try to explain where things are at and where we are going with the whole thing. I’ll probably cross post this one so I wont have to do this more than once for the month as I just signed up for a couple of sites on a personal level and a lot of folks are asking what I do. – Hope this explains it By the way i got tired of putting in pics so if you want to see all of them click on one and it should take you to the gallery – otherwise it is http://myspace.com/tkiergen and click on the pics link under the dolphin pic and there are several galleries of photos – this article covers what the changes to the tanks at the house system are – didnt really get into why or how it all works – in fact just barely scratched the surface.

    Now along the way I have progressed from a kid with a couple of tanks wandering around gathering things that would make it in a small tank, learning what types of food they needed and how to gather said food. To today as an adult actually able to heal corals gathered dry from beaches as well as breeding most of the required food sources for whatever critters I am keeping. That being said an explanation of the new system modifications and why is in order.

   The old system worked well, very well but I think I can do a little better so the shrimp hatchery has been replaced with a 900 gallon hot tub filled with live rock and various plants.  This was perfect for the task.

The hot tub was already fitted with 4 1/2” jets and a full aeration bottom that we are powering from a 400cfm blower at night. I decided to run the blower at night only for the reason that my nitrogen cycle was getting just a little too far off and the removal of excess ammonia in the system can really be done by running the pump for as little as 2 hours a day.  Now this tank/hot tub serves multiple purposes in the system as not only are we able to cause corraline algae in a greatly accelerated process on the eco-friendly live rock we raise but at the same time we are able to continue breeding many types of shrimp, our own phytoplankton, zooplankton and various other micro-critters beneficial to the system not only as food but in a lot of cases as cleaners as well.

   Now the little air pump you see iabove is hooked into a breeder/display tank by marineland/tenecor and operates 24 hours a day in the lower chamber of the breeder rack

that little pump throws 60 litres of air per minute into the bottom left chamber of this tank which has a micro-aeration plate in the teeny chamber with the drains – both of which feed the hot tub. The chamber here that the air is pumped into contains first and second stage eco-live rock and is seeded with Tonga Branch that is covered in coralline algae and seeds the new rock well for us.

now out on the lanai we have pulled out the entire rack of 15’s and added in a 6ft breeder with 3 chambers and underneath there is a 300 gallon rubbermaid underneath it containing close to 1400lbs of live sand literally from all over the world.

 Ok i am going to skip the pics the rest of the way because this is taking a bit too long – I will revise this later and put the rest in if ambition sets in.

     What happens in the chain beginning at Tim's tank (first of the 30 gallon tanks, right next to the aragonite reactor we made from an old salt tank from an industrial water softener) is sort of weird but it works. In order to explain it I have to say that the aragonite reactor sees 1100 gallons per hour inflow from the main pump directly. That flow would normallly have that whole row of little tanks cookin and bookin but we control the flow rates inside each tank by both the number and diameter of pipes coming in to each tank (IE: the tank right after Tim’s has 3 3/4” pipes, 2 1” pipes and 1 1/2” pipe giving a flow rate inside the tank of 52 inches per minute (if you are doing the math on regular pipework don’t – these are “U”-tube gravity pipes not direct)). To further control the flow we have added a second overflow box to the sexy shrimp tank which picks its water through an undergravel plate which is under live sand from Greece, The North Sea and from 5000ft down in the Atlantic. It recieves its inflow water via another undergravel located in the tank next to it which has common Home Cheapo paving sand (silica) seeded with a cup of live sand from Lanai, Hawaii. That tanks inflow comes from an 1.5 inch pipe coming from the 20 on the iron stand which has the other overflow. Both overflows dump into the 6ft breeder above the rubbermaid in its left chamber.

   Now the rubbermaid has a stir pump to boot – 3600 gallons an hour pump from it back up to the right and left chambers of the breeder and there is the 1100 an hour leaving vai a pipe in the side of the rubbermaid. (I changed stir pumps since I originally posted the pics – hence the notes wont match). In the center chamber of the breeder I capped 1 of the 2.5 inch pipes and put a “T” at the top of the other one. bottom side I put in an elbow, 19 inches of pipe horizontal,another 90 (elbow) and ran a pipe vertically down into the sand within 2 inches of the bottom of the rubbermaid. This was tuned and intentional – there is about 200cfm of air getting mixed in which even with the pipe as far down in the sand as it is, it throws a crudload of bubbles up and it is definitely moving the sand around while not being too much. Now normally a bunch of air in your sandbed is a bad idea but in this case it serves a many fold puprose:

   A: it turns the sandbed into a filter of sorts

   B: It keeps the sand Oxygenated so we dont have 20 inches of hypoxic sand.

   C: it should completely move around all of the sand in the Rubbermaid over a period of 10 months to a year (rough math)

    D: since we have tons of live sand in the rest of the system – this area of well oxygenated sand provides nutrients to the sand in the rest of the system in the forms of broken down waste, diatoms and some very healthy micro-critters just barely above the bacterial level which in turn feed or in some cases feed from all the little critters that are bacterial. Makes for one hell of a healthy system.

     E: The live sands from all over the world, crushed shell and crushed coral we have in there help to buffer PH and calcium levels.- So does the rest of the system but this seems to be buffering to the point it is rivaling the calcium reactor.

  In reference to E above:  I think what is happening is that due to the fact that there is CO2 in the air and the amount of airflow going through these sands which contain aragonite as well as just a shade of crushed limestone….That it is acting as an aragonite reactor of sorts while at the same time the lesser flow areas are perhaps absorbing excess calcium. I have noticed that since this chain was modified our Calcium consumption has dropped dramatically. Prior to this mod to the system we were going through 4.5lbs Tropic Marin Bio Calcium and 1lb Calcium Chloride per month to maintain our calcium levels at 440 and our PH at 8.3. Currently we have dropped to 8.2 PH and our calcium levels have risen to 445 with only 1oz of Bio Calcium per week and that is really just being added for the trace elements contained in the mix from Tropic Marin. I should also mention that it is normal for a marine aquarium to fluctuate in PH from day to night and this has been the case in every system I have had my entire life – this system used to bounce from 8.2 to 8.3 every cycle but was always stable if samples were tested at the same time every day. Currently the PH is rock solid no matter what time of day I take a sample. Everything is doing well so I don’t think the non-fluctuation is a bad thing but I am holding judgment as there are variables to be considered long term; some of  which I am probably not aware of.

On the blue barrel we still have the little 25 flat with the 2 chunks of Marshall island rock in it – Live sand in there is compliments of a lady in Siberia and another in Antartica who sent it to us still in water. Its inflow is counted as part of the chain Starting at Tim’s – a paltry 120 gallons per hour which flows out via a 1” pipe directly into the rubbermaid. Its sole purpose in life is to keep those 2 chunks of Marshall Islands rock going – I am after the deep Blue Coralline algae and want it to spread throughout the system which it seems to be doing. My reason for wanting the blue is that it, like the Orange tends to make for a way healthier system than the pinks/purples that you see in every petstore (usually chemically induced I might add).  Naturally I seem to have pinks/purples all over the system as well as some really neat neon greens. Orange Coralline Algae is doing well from just the few samples I was initially able to acquire.

    Moving on Back to the other new breeder tank which sees flow directly from the main pump at 4psi through a 1/2” pipe inside a 1” manifold hitting both of the outer 2 chambers (right and left)both outlets at 1/2” we have a pair of 1.5 inch drains leaving the center chamber. I spent an afternoon getting these just right. One drains through 50ft of flex pipe into the big tank (1100 gallon tank) mixing water and air very well. The other drains into the regular drain plumbing with and intentional step made from 2 90’s which causes just that extra bit of crashing as the air mixes with the water prior to hitting the drain system. Now there are also 2 vents on the drain clustermess pulling an extra 50 or so cfm of air with them this is enough that 580ft later (through underground piping that loops back and forth for temperature stability year round)there are air bubbles coming out from a fully submerged 4” pipe in the pond.

   The Big tank (1100) has a 1” pipe blowing in at 4psi from the main pump and of course the pipe from the breeder on the rack I just mentioned. It leaves via a 1 inch fixed pvc drain and a clustermess I made from a 4” Tee, an end cap and some pipe – this has a 2.5” U tube feeding it from the tank. It exits the T into a pipe located to where its bottom is at the same level as the other drain. Now that dumps through an old pool cartridge filter that I gutted, put in a grid plate and filled wit 4 bags man-made lava rock and 3 boxes of real Hawaiian lava rock. this is a bottom feeding unit so where the air bleed was, I hollowed the valve and we shoot 60 liters per minute of air in via 6 4ft flexible bubble bars that I curled around and spiraled up the inside of the unit {I should note that this mod was what turned the pond from a coral garden into a refugium}. These are some fine bubbles and one would expect that it would bubble and foam out the vent – it does not, except the morning after we come in with a bunch of ghost shrimp or have dumped a fresh copepod culture in the system (which we do in a 30 gallon plastic barrel).

   Now the pond itself gets its water from the entire system and I should mention is teeming with life. There are abundant plants to support phyto/zoo plankton which are somehow propagating in the system as are copepods (although we have to help those along), various micro shrimp and what can best be described as teeny crabs that get no bigger than the average brine shrimp (someone finds them in a book I want to know what they are – we done confoozled fish and wildlife yet the original culture came from right behind Midnight pass – in the stagnate area where the jerkwad rich boy closed in the pass and calls that wrecked section of the intercoastal a “marine sanctuary” More like the marine equal to a stagnate still pond – used to be beautiful though now it all ucky crap and the corals that used to be there are gone – not even the most rugged Florida Ricordia mushrooms will live there – we have tried putting 10,000 in already). The pond gets all 5800 gallons an hour from the entire system dumped in via a 4” pipe to slow the flow. in doing this and using the ledges to our advantage we have a nice area for sponges under all that spaghetti grass and sea-lettuce (among other plants such as halimeda). Now the calcareous algae are not doing so well there but they are doing well enough in the rest of the system that we are not worried too much but they would be welcome. The sponges are doing really well. They say that 1 sponge, 1ft square can filter 1 ton of water per day (roughly 200 gallons) well we have 4 or 5 of our systems covered by that math.

   We had a ton of undesirable algae taking over the system – after adding in all the trick plumbing and a couple of air pumps it has stabilized, the ammonia levels are back to nil where they are supposed to be and everybody is happy. I should mention that somehow even though we use gulf water and yup sometime water right out of the basin by the marinas dock….. We no longer have a phosphor problem either. I was told that because we have finally found a combination of plants that consume it better than the hair algae we used to get that we are removing itt everytime we pull plants out of the pond. Also someone mentioned that the glow in the dark bacteria we cultivated a couple of years ago are still in our water (I was studying “phosphor trails” left by boats – ho the navy used to spot them back in the day). These little critters eat phosphor and later become food for stony corals – in particular elkhorn (pacific – atlantic do not do it) and birdsnest. Some acropora and heliopora consume the bacteria as well but not to as great a degree – soon as I get 2 more rack/display tanks like what I have out in the shed I want to pursue whether or not stonies eating phosphor consuming bacteria A: cause those stonies to be more susceptible to being overtaken by undesirable algae and B: are or rather “could be” the reason that in most of the better reef areas of the world with heavy stony populations have a tendancy to have almost no phosphor (IE: could they be filtering it?) while the water a few miles away will have more than measureable amounts. This is an area of curiosity for me  because at one time I use to go out and watch my propwash until it was glowing good and gather water in that area for the purpose of making some LPS species I used to raise look a lot more Luminescent just prior to sale (works like a dream for rose corals, frogspawn and some brain corals). It was only recently that i put together why it worked and I think that if verified….: Right here in Florida we could use that to clean up our waterways to some degree – especially out by Cayo Costa and the old Boca Grande phosphate docks where the phosphates are off the scale and the resulting hair algae in the intercoastal (especially in the backwaters in that area) could go away eventually giving us back the pretty waters we had in there when I was a kid.

   Ok so now I am rambling.

   Lighting wise we are using the following:

Shed:

there is a coralife 50/50 and an aquaglo flourescent over the hot tub

there is a MarineGLo and a coralife 50/50 over the display/breeder rack

Tims Tank:

1x 96W dual Actinic

1x 96W 10000K

My own design Tri Moon Moonlight LED’s pulsing at 1600 cycles per second (2x)

1x 1 watt regular “off the shelf” moonlight LED ripped out of a SunPod fixture

reflector is a custom kit (made with the help of Heritage glass – thanks Marty)in an outer Orbit housing

2 30’s and 2 10’s on that row:

2x 96W 50/50’s with an Ice Cap ballast able to do 2 more

1x 48” T-5 10000K 28W

Back of that row (the 2 at the end drain):

1x oddball 12” 90W Radium bulb (around 25000K according to manufacturer)

1x 48” T5 Actinic 02

1x 48” T5 20000K

6ft breeder above the rubbermaid:

1x 96W dual actinic

1x 96W dual daylight (10000k/20000K – custom order)

12x 1 watt Moonlight LED – homemade pulse circuit at 2500 cycles per second

6ft breeder on top of iron rack next to big tank:

1x 150W 14000K HQI Aqualight (wonderful bulbs)

1X 96W Royal Blue Actinic

1x 96W Dual Actinic

4x 1W Moonlight LED – no pulse circut

Over the big tank:

2x 150W HQI 14000K – (1 Aqualight bulb 1 piece of shit Coralife bulb)

2x Ice Cap Hqi Ballasts

4x 96W dual Actinic – this may seem an imbalance but keep in mind thses tanks do get real daylight albeit shaded by screen.

1x Homemade ballast handling all 4 actinics – hodge podge from scrunged parts

                     Production since Nov 9, 08  to March 10, 09

Replants/Beach rescues :

high and dry brought back to life and replanted in the intercoastal

57 stonies

191 sponge

7000+ softie polyps gathered from the roots of still moist plant debris on the beach

Bought and Planted:

   10,000 Florida Ricordia – was matched by another group as well

    2000 reef plugs with Florida “Sea Mat” Zoanthids – donated by an anonymous person.

    50 Atlantic Elkhorn over 20lbs each (guys wife was selling his system)

    12 boulder corals approx 4” dia. (from same system as above)

Propogated and replanted:

2x 5 gallon buckets of parking lot rock (from landscape place encrusted with local sponge.

57 Florida Ricordia

approx 400 :Sea Mat” Zoanthid Polyps

22 green tipped anemones (not aptasia – good ones original specimen was found near Blackburn point/ Just North of it on the grass flats near Vamo RD Oyster beds)

Fry from plant debris raised to at least 1 inch and released:

70+ pinfish

11 grunts

1000+ swimmer crabs

8 Leopard/spotted trunkfish

28 flat filefish (approx)

I should mention here that the fry are mostly accidental – we gather floating plant debris for the micro-crustaceans that we study as well as for teeny shrimp that we feed to the system. We let the fry grow, feed them very well on brine shrimp flakes and Tetra Min bulk tropical flake food. Rotifers are naturally growing/culturing  in the system as are various other good things (we even have krill breed from time to time – probably through sheer dumb luck/we don’t know what we are doing right when that happens). When they are an inch or so we let them go out in the intercoastal. In the case of the larger specimens we have like my 2 Gulf Velvet Killifish – one is blind and the other helps it they are never more than a couple of inces from each other and I figure they will be in the big tank well fed for a long time to come – we do let their offspring go about twice a year thoug. The Diamond killifish I have are breeding 3 or 4 times a year and the offspring are released whenever I notice they are big enough to damage our plants. The longnose Killifish were in my bilgewater after a hard run home one night and they have been with ne ever since – they have yet to breed. My brackish killifish/guppie cross were shipped inland where there is no saltwater so that no-one introduces a non native species into our waters The same reason that the Guppy/black molly cross breeds were shipped inland – note after crossing the Delta Guppy/Black Molly in light brackish water, staging them into salt water over 3 generations (5 breeding lines) I was told that even a 3 month drip acclimation would not allow them back in freshwater they were dying off in 8 separate systems at 1.018 salinity and if brought back up to 1.021 would actually recover in a day or so – breeding is as normal in 1.023 to 1.025 salinity / starve them for a couple of days and they do the hibbity jibbity. This was what I gathered from a few lengthy e-mails anyway.

  Production of Eco-friendly live rock:

coralline algae forming on most at 2 months

plant based fully in 1 month – I am noticing that a lot of the rock we got from the old quarry in North Port last year is going completely plant based then cycles to really nice coralline algae. It is an assumption that the moss algae (not the hairy stuff this is some really wonderful tight short stuff from the Red Sea) breaks up the surface of the rock (which is fossilized coral) and allows fresh calcium into the pores of the rock while at the same time releasing calcium from the rock itself.

The limestone rock from Gene (patriot lawn and tree service – 941-321-5353 servicing Sarasota and Charlotte counties had to help him out – he has helped us immensely) is doing well. While it is not progressing as quickly as we expected it has achieved plant based in the pond and is at the near fully encrusting coralline algae stages in the hot tub. It will not take the good moss algae but in the big tank the pieces we put in there have taken the moss from Tonga Branch and from some wierd Pacific rock someone out in Japan sent us. I noticed too that the addition of the Limestone in the big tank mad my radioactive coral wake right the heck up and he is healthy enough to take down any snail or hermit crab that so much as touches his base – he is all of 2 inches tall. Thanks be to Gene for having the limestone leftover from a job.

  I picked up some of what the rock place in the keys calls “screening” it is basically crushed coral and the guy let me pick up a couple of 150 quart coolers full of baseball size to showpiece sized (18-24”) rocks from piles they had there and this stuff is doing excellent – we are talking near full coverage with coralline algae in less than 6 months – I cheated with this stuff though it was seeded with Tonga Branch, Solomon Islands live rock, Marshall islands Live rock, Fiji ultra premium select live rock and uncured Haitian live rock all in the curing barrel at once with air galore for just less than a month and 2x 1000W 20000K metal halides hitting that poor 300 gallon barrel at once (any questions why that is no longer in use just go peel the melted plastic/rubber off those lights). I think that this rock being in the hot tub is what has caused the coralline to accelerate at such a rapid pace throughout the rest of the system. Calcerous algae love the heck out of this rock by the way.

   The Texas Holey rock sucks doggy doo doo – it has gained an excellent white coating but I think that is just from the water flow cleaning the crap – man made lava ock does better.

   Whatever the New Mexico rock is, it has done well – now buried in the bottom of the big tank under a bunch of Haitian and some Tonga Plate it has proven to be the fastest at attracting diatoms or perhaps they are latent in the rock, I don’t know but I do know that where I was getting a bunch of bad ones towards the base in the big tank, there are now only good diatoms (redneck explanation) in the substrate of the big tank – or at least way more good ones than bad ones. That is another thing most people overlook in a marine aquarium system – Diatoms are good yes but there are several types which are bad for a system and can even harm a marine tank – that is something for another writing as it gets quite lengthy – read Moe for a better explanation because I am only scratching the surface with my studies into the diatomatic world.

Corraline algae:

conservative number is about 3lbs per month total system production gain (predation has been factored in and total was cut in 1/2)

Waste plant:

healthy plant matter removed from Pond every week to prevent overgrowth = 38lbs wet average – wet is defined as picked up, allwed to drip and then placed on a sheet of styrofoam. Low was last week of Feb at 21lbs high was today at 44lbs. By the way if anyone is starting a refugium…..pop on by I can hook you up.

Stony coral growth.

currently at 1.7lbs per month

Soft coral growth rate:

varies from 1/2lb per month to this month at 2.1lbs – system has improved dramatically since Dec which was negative growth. (stuff was dying)

Sponge:

no real measure – rescue a lot from the beach dry and above the high tide line, lose some, gain some too much going in and out to bother keeping track of more than how many buckets survive.

                   Goals for the project for this year:

  OK my main goal is to get On Time fully operational again so I can use her to resume the free marine towing – that is my a-number one priority so the rest of this might not happen this year as she is costing me a fortune that I really don’t have at the moment. Reel Pirate is a wonderful boat but she sucks too much gas for me to do other than paid tows with her on my retirement income. There was too much downtime last year and I sent most of my regular customers away so this years goal is to get On Time to a “Turn the key I can count on her no matter what” condition. On Time at 36ft has 2800 miles range on 860 gallons at 12knots VS Reel Pirates gas engine has 65 miles range on 50 gallons (260 at 4.7knots though). Being a research trust we do not have to pay taxes on diesel purchases over 100 gallons which knocks off 1.20 (average) per gallon vs gas is never exempt from taxes.

   lighting needed:

1 72” or 96” LED fixture just to see if they really work worth a hoot. I have tried bars and panels over the years and they never do well on other than shallow tanks but there are a couple of companies like PFO Lighting that are claiming results superior to halides on far less wattage and lighting in the 10-12k range with full blue spectrum covered. I gotta find a used one and try it first though due to lack of confidence based on prior LED fixtures I dont want to drop that much money and find it was a waste. It would be wonderful to have a lot lower electric bill though.

2 70W Sunpods or HQI pendants with an assortment of varying color temperature bulbs to answer the question once and for all of what grows best under what temp bulb – I want to do time frames of lighting vs growth rates too.

One project I have to accomplish this year is sort of nerdy but neat – probably take me a couple of years to get any kind of repeatable results. They used to make 72 and 96 inch fixtures with 5 and 7 HQI double ended bulbs and individual ballasts for both. I want to find one of those old fixtures that uses t-5’s down both sides with the HQI’s in the center. Then I want to pull 2 of the bulbs and ballasts and replace them with little 50 to 75 watt mercury bulbs. and play with various color temperature halides in the rest of the fixture. My reason for this is many fold. In the late 70’s and 80’s I had excellent luck with Mercury lights alone albeit I had to be religious about shutting them off on time and not running them so much that I had algae all over the tanks. Nowadays timers are dirt cheap and with 150W hqi’s at nice high kelvin ratings i think that the full spectrum delivered from the Mercury lights would be more than adequate to give healthy plant growth in abundance while at the same time sy 17500k to 20000k HQI’s would give far better coralline algae growth – of course Zoanthallae production would be improved from the mercury lights perhaps allowing say your average softie such as most zoanthids to not expel their Zoanthallae thereby not bleaching under the power of the high K HQI’s – its just a theory but if I can find the right combination joe schmoe home aquarist may not in the future have to have all his softies at the bottom of the tank to keep the halides from bleaching or killing them. Billy Bob breeder may be able to do multiple tiers of softies or even Gonipora (flowerpot corals) without having to worry about “burning” his crop.   I dunno if it will work or not but in all my studies of lights I have not seen anyone playing with mixes of bulbs like this – other than a couple of guys mixing halides and sodium lamps but I am pretty sure the plants they were trying to grow were not aquatic

Pumps -

I want to play around with 4 Hydor Koralia Model 4’s on a wave timer and do a fair comparison vs a pair of 1 inch inlet/outlet SCWD (switching current wave director) devices. I have played with everything from toilet tanks with Bournemann flush devices to Turbelle wavemaker pumps to PVC crosses on PVC pipes with 45’s coming off of them and while I am 1/2 sold on the SCWD’s there is that bit of doubt from having played with other devices which clog or get calcium buildup over time and fail. There is a bit of doubt with the Koralias as well from having depended on wavemakers and electronic timers in the past and having seen failure after failure of either the timers or the pumps – I have been playing with one Koralia for about 6 months now and think they are reliable enough to give it a whirl. I have watched a SCWD device in use at a local pet store and think I know what they are doing wrong (too much pressure flowing in or so it looks like when I see 18psi leaving their pump).

  Getting the Homeless project back in full swing.

I have been getting the occasional call from this or that marina and some private parties – most of which I have been telling to go to Boat Angel Ministries due to the fact that I had so much down time so i have probably lost most of the regular marinas we used to have donating derelicts to us but I think once On Time is running or I just break down and scrunge up a regular diesel towboat I can get back to giving away boats to homeless people. Where 2007 we had 61 boats come through and were able to give away 27 as useable for people to live on (we always make sure they get some sort of registration in their name or in one case in the guys moms name) and we gave away 7 just for folks to mess around with – the rest were total junk and were either cleaned of all oils, engines/trannys removed and sunk in over 200ft of water or cut up and we paid the dumpster. So far this year we have given away 3 – mostly due to we were down so long most of the marinas in the gulf coast probably think we quit or something. I have to get that project going again – it was a lot of fun and helped a lot of people. I cant afford to do it from Reel Pirate (or any other gas engine boat) though. and she cant pull much over a 30 footer without hurting herself.

   Getting Tim a descent tank setup.

  Tim is a wonderkid and from what I have seen him do in his little 30 on that row as well as a couple of other tanks he is a propagation genius as well as a self contained eco-system nerd with great potential. Sometime before he loses faith or interest i want to get him a couple of 4ft displays like the one out in the shed – but only the bottom 2 sections of each and see what he does in them. I think he could be a boon to the intercoastal as he is extremely quick to spot drying plants with polyps attached to their roots on the beach and he is very fast becoming expert in his abilities to place them in proper flow and light while at the same time making sure that non-native species do not attach to the rocks or reef plugs he is attaching stuff to (well nothing that cant no one say didn’t come in in some mega freighters bilge water – meaning he is very conscientious). At the same time I want to get 15 or 20 full sized (4’x8’)sheets of lexan and some lexan solvent so that I can put together a couple of the old fully self contained tanks I used to make for hospices and old folks homes up in yankee country. just to see does he take the rest of the sheets and copy what I did or does he improve on it. Hard to beat a self contained 80 or 90 gallon near complete eco-system but I really think he can probably do what I never could – come up with one in the 20 or 30 gallon range that would be just as maintenance free. I cant seem to do a small one that does not have to be torn down a couple of times a year or filter media removed and replaced or water cycled out and changed often – I can do large ones that it islittle more than top it off with freshwater every now and then and maybe add some salt to keep the salinity up every 6 or 8 months though. Perhaps he can figure out how to come up with a smaller system that will work as well – he seems to be oriented in that direction far more than I ever was.

Anyway its 4am, I am merely rambling – those are the stats for where the project(s) are currently at and where I want to get them this year. Probably meet about 1/2 my goals on my budget but hey I am at least setting goals for a change and the progress this project in general has made is wonderful – Our friend Minica over at Pro Vita Pax Marine is improving our area, we are sort of improving our area and other groups and individuals are learning how to help our waterways without breaking any of Floridas laws. Remember – if you are going to copy our project or do something similar NEVER put a non native species in Florida waters. NEVER harvest from one area and move stuff to another – you are helping much more by raising polyps off of plant debris or doing like some of our mystery donors do and buying 100 percent Florida native species off of Ebay and planting them in the intercoastal.

   I dont have the new GCCR space up but the old site is still at http://mysite.verizon.net/dawino6260 it is outdated as all heck because I just transferred the text from our original site over there for parking purposes BUT if you click on “how you can help” you will find some ideas on how to go about things in the right way.

This Sea Ray 260 Signature is made for the folks who like being on the water but still like being comfortable. Made for entertaining up to 10 people in the comfort you expect from a higher end Sea Ray, this is an open bow or "bowrider" if you prefer appointed with every possible touch needed to make entertaining your friends on the water a pleasant and enjoyable experience.

  Looking in from the bow we see that she has cushions and carpet everywhere. Sitting on those cushions after a long day of skiing is a pleasure, sure they are vinyl but they are good vinyl that doesn't stick to you and wont burn your skin off even on the hottest days. Going aft the rear passenger area is equally well appointed with some of the most comfy seats in the industry. The carpeting is really nice, marine grade that was probably selected for the fact that come the end of a long day of divers getting in and out, skiers getting in and out  you can just hose it off and it is right back to plush, feels good under bare toes carpeting again.

    Diving from this boat is pretty sweet, the dive platform out back makes her easy to get on and off of and there is a good little dive ladder back there that makes getting on and off a lot easier.The Ski tow bar on the back has a long, easy to reach bar on both sides that makes getting back on in rough water a lot easier too. There are rearward cleats for those of us who have to hang our tanks off and put them on in the water. They are located to where you can tie your tanks/BCD on and reach them from inside the passenger area without having to strain. The Ski hook in the center of the ski tow bar makes for a good place to reach up and hang your catch bag and gear before boarding too.

  Skiing is slick behind this boat. She has enough OOMPH to get 4 skiers up no problem. The ski hook in the center of the tow bar is well placed and the 2 outside cleats that I mentioned are handy for divers are also handy for adding a couple more folks on skis.

  Entertaining on this boat is very nice. From the (removable) table in the back to the integrated cup holders that are large enough for full sized drinks. This boat was made for comfort and style. Everywhere you look there is something comfortable like one would expect from a really high end luxury vessel. The helm is appointed with full instrumentation. THere is a Lowrance GPS/chartplotter that is large enough to be easy to read, has nautical charts built in that are detailed enough for even the most hardcore mariner yet is easy enough for just about anyone to use. Of course there is a Raymarine VHF Radio onboard for emergencies or just going to the off channels and talking to your fellow boaters. The steering is light enough that your kids can handle it and the seating arrangement forward in the bow is laid out in such a way that you can still see what is ahead of you. The seat swivels so the captain can join in the party in the rear of the boat. Rearward the seats are like sitting on a

  Getting down to her guts and bolts though,; lets take a look under the engine cowl....... There is a large MerCruiser 7.4l engine that will push her along at high speeds but she was tuned for the folks that just like to get out and cruise. Look down at the dual prop setup hanging off of that Merc Bravo 3 outdrive and you will see further evidence of this - those props are at their most efficient at around 10mph on this boat and wont rob you at the pumps at those speeds. No this does not mean she will not get up and go - no far from it she will move out like a cheetah on cocaine when you want her to. What this means is 2 part: One she was rigged up for folks who like to cruise along, have a few drinks with their friends, go beaching, visit the waterfront bars  and such. Two: When you have a group of people on that all want to go skiing at once... This is the boat to have! Those props are torque monsters and in combination with that 7.4l engine she has no problem pulling 4 skiers at once.

   This is one of the finest smaller hulls Sea Ray put out in our lifetimes.... Solid, sturdy, luxurious and dependable..... Give Mark a call at 941-716-4200 for more details.

Looking for the single persons fishing boat? Looking for that little bay hotrod that will not kill you at the pumps? Do you have the desire to fish the flats? Do you just feel the need for speed every now and then? If you answered yes to any of these questions then this is a boat worth looking at.

   Her current home is on the Marine Dynamics lot in Englewood and she is feeling lonely. While she will easily support the fishing habits of 2 people at the same time.... Nahhhh This boat was custom rigged to be a combination of fishing machine and hotrod for one up hardcore running out to the flats and back. As a personal transport boat this is an ideal candidate.

     Look closely hanging off the tail end of this boat - that is a 115 Yamaha very closely resembling the ones that will shoot a 21foot Carolina Skiff along at 50 or so.... This aint no 21ft skiff... This little Mako is a shallow Modified Vee hull, 4 feet shorter and a whole lot lighter which makes for one fast little center console. Can you say in the 70's? 

   Now remove all doubts from your mind: This is a very economical boat to run. Kick her back to 30 or 35 and that big ol Yamaha 115 aint even sucking down more than 2 or 3 gallons an hour... Wrap her up wide open if you want and you will still be hard pressed to suck down more than 5.7 gallons an hour and with this boats top speed that still puts her in the 12-14mpg range easy - wide open running! How? Simple this is one light little boat, low profile, very aerodynamic and combined with one of Yamaha's more efficient 2-strokers as a bonus. Add in that the mechanics at Marine Dynamics really liked this boat and tweaked her out with a better prop, tweaked the prop and best of all tuned her for maximum thrills.

   Sure you can still fish with one of your buds or a couple of kids onboard. Yup not a problem at all the original owner seemed to be a flats/mangrove kinda guy who rigged her up for all day fishing there is a huge 35 gallon livewell at the rear with  an excellent aerator. This is not your typical aerator setup in the livewell. This was rigged by someone who must know saltwater aquariums as it is simple, high flow and made with keeping fish alive in mind... What does this mean to you while you are out fishing? Simple it will keep a lot more bait alive for a lot longer time. This is not a livewell setup you just go out and buy... This is something you can only make and it would cost you a whole lot to have someone else take that much time to make one for you.

   Looking at the forward deck: It makes a really nice flats casting platform. It has a nice sure grip surface as does most of the top of the boat. There is a good sized anchor locker that does double duty as a battery box for the trolling motor on an integrated battery shelf. There is a huge dry storage compartment with plenty of stash space for your gear.

  Out back there is a poling platform above the engine for working the shallows and there are pole clips along the right side of the boat so you have a place to keep the pole. Down in the cockpit there are  rod holders.... The good old fashioned kind, easy in, easy out... None of this modern day all kinds of clips to break or get in the way... These are simple, well made hang em in kind of rod holders that have been the choice of 90 percent of the old guys who have been fishing their whole life! There is a reason for that - less stuff to break means less that can go wrong. Back on the poling platform.. Sure its just a poling platform right? Well yup - low enough to get on and off without having to be an acrobat... This was well placed. Reinforced to make it sturdy enough to where you are not worried about working from it. Now Poling this boat comes easy too - the well made poling platform in combination with a light, shallow draft boat such as this makes it a breeze to work through as little as 10 inches of water... Balance out the boat with your fishing buddy or some gear and you could probably work this one across 8 or 9 inches of water and be at your favorite "secret" hole a lot easier than some other boats.

     The console is just your basic unit with basic instruments and a compass. The throttle/shifter seems to be new. Looking at the bottom paint it is in really good shape... I am assuming it is very fresh. I also noticed that along with tweaking out the prop, the mechanics did better than service the lower unit on the engine - there is a performance lower unit on that Yamaha and it is one you see the commercial guys using all the time... Solid and sturdy, designed for lots of use and years of service this is not some cheap rebuild unit from Willy Bubbas backyard boat parts, this is the real McCoy made to take a heck of a lot of punishment.

   What we have here is a nicely rigged out fishing machine made for the backwater but at the same time we have a lake screamer that can and will get you to your favorite fishing hole quick, fast and safe. With this little boat, that Yamaha outboard is not even beginning to strain wide open and as a result of the combination should provide years of faithful service. There is very little to go wrong on this boat and therefore very little that will go wrong which means you can spend a lot more time on the water and a lot less time turning wrenches. Even the trim tabs were selected for strength, simplicity and longevity 

   I know you dont believe most of the advertising hype... So give Mark a call at 941-716-4200 and arrange for a seatrial of this slick little boat today. I promise you will not find a more hardcore backwater fishing machine than this one for the price.

   $5997.00 was the asking price.

   Short:

  Who Doesn't like the SeaSwirl Striper series of boats.. Here is your chance to own a New Old Stock 19ft striper with a 150 Evinrude that will move her along efficiently and gracefully. As Sea Swirls go this one had no option spared and is ready to fish or take the family out today.

In detail:

   The Sea Swirl Line of boats is know for being a well equipped, economical selection and this one is no exception. Nicely appointed with livewells fore and aft, rod holders all over the place, cleats strong enough for a couple of water skiers, a beefy Evinrude 150 and so much more....

   Sea Swirl has a niche market with the Striper boat as it is an excellent bay and lake fishing boat that is ready for it from the get to. While this boat is not a shallos boat by any means there is no reason to fear throwing on a trolling motor and working the shallows either... She draws about a foot even with the modified vee hull and there is a tunnel area just forward of the prop, at the rear of the boat that seems to actually keep the engine mostly weed free on those days when you just want to trim the engine up and idle in to your favorite grass flat or weed bed. That same tunnel makes acceleration a dream too... This boat is "out of the hole" in just a few yards and on plane at about 20 or so mph.

    The livewells are located for easy access and even though the forward one is small it is still easy to reach into with a net and has more than enough flow to keep several dozen minnows or shrimp alive on even the hottest days.  I like the fact that the inner edges are finished on these livewells rather than rough like a lot of other livewells. These will not cut you up in 3 or 4 years like a lot of other livewells found  on other boats in this class.

   The big Evinrude on the   back makes this boat handle like a dream. This is a fairly light hull to begin with and the Evinrude balances her nice in the water. The combination of the two gives a boat that performs tops in her class, provides razor sharp handling and a wave taking ability that one would expect from a larger hull. Because the engine is not straining too hard, 250 to 300 miles on a tank of fuel is not a dream... It is to be expected. This hull is really efficient!  Marine Dynamics has taken the time to put on a Solas prop, hand picked and tuned for this boat to perform at maximum efficiency and still run like a champ. The location of the helm is perfect for maximum "feel" of the boat and makes working into the shallows pretty easy as there is no problem for even your kid to see ahead of the boat.

   Ok so lets go fishing on this one...... Rod holders all over the place as you would expect from a SeaSwirl fishing machine  Yeah ok  but lets get into some detail...... The rodholders on the sides of the console are located in such a way that you can carry your rods and your buddies without having to bump into then when walking back and forth on the boat. The rod holders on the back of the seat are hardcore and there are a couple more right in the back of the boat for long poles so trolling IS an option and a very good one with this boat.  The location of the helm is perfect for maximum "feel" of the boat and makes working into the shallows pretty easy as there is no problem for even your kid to see ahead of the boat.

   The forward casting deck is roomy and the anchor locker is easy to get into even when you are in some rough stuff. At the same time the lid on the forward compartment is really well made, solid, not some junker that will come loose in a couple of years like on a lot of other boats in this class. On those rough days it is nice to be able to sit at the rear of the casting platform and reach right into the ;livewell and this boat makes that a breeze even for the shorter folks. Think this boat was not made to fish... look at those side compartments just behind the forward casting deck.... Yup that's right they have those wonderful little tackle trays you have come to expect from SeaSwirl. They are easy to reach from a seated position and that makes life so much nicer when you are trying to re-rig in some gulf swells or on Lake Superior in the spring rough stuff.

Does this boat meet a family purpose? yes most definitely there is ample seating everywhere and it is among the more popular styles of boat for young folks out partying on the waterways with their friends. There is enough horsie pony power coming out of that Evinrude that one or two guys can be out back water skiing while 3 or 4 more are still onboard. Now take a look under the seat there at the helm.... Sure that cooler will easily hold lunch for a family of 5 but for those of us who like to be out on the water fishing with our buddies... Hey that forward compartment will hold a lot of chips and you can fit one heck of a lot of beer in the cooler on this boat. Perfect for float parties or for those times when you want to camp out ... These coolers are legendary for coming home with ice still in them the next day.  For those days when you just want to make your kid (or your inner kid) grin from ear to ear... This little boat will open up past 50 or so and she handles solid and crisp giving the feel one would expect from a high performance boat. (makes getting to the fishing hole first on tournament day pretty slick too)

   At the end of the day this boat is a breeze to trailer.  Here is the neat thing about this boat though. Trailering is a one man operation. This boat is light enough to handle with just a rope at those ramps where you cannot motor on and stable enough that even with a side current I was able to get one on the trailer in the first try. Just lead her in, attach the trailers winch hook, crank her on. Simple as that. This boat is light enough that the smallest woman or the average 11 year old boy should be able to get her on a trailer without much effort at all. While I should mention the price from Marine dynamics does not include a trailer, they do carry a full line of trailers that they are more than willing to set up for this boat at some pretty reasonable prices.

   All in all this is the boat you want if you are serious about fishing yet still have a family to entertain.

   Now here is a pretty slick bay and shallows fishing boat that would be equally at home on your favorite lake yet can still take a run out in the Gulf when you want. Make no Mistake about it this boat is every bit as respectable as her Tidewater Boats competition In fact it is a really close tie in my opinion. Having had the opportunity to run both vessels out this is an excellent choice for the person who wants all the features yet does not have the money for A Tidewater 2100 BayMax. While either boat is better built and equipped than a Scout at a far lower price The SeaSwirl 22 bay makes a nice entry level choice for the person who needs a complete fishing package yet cant afford to jump up to the top of the line just yet.

   Running her out we find that she is light and nimble. The hull is solid and hard, ample deck drains to keep the cockpit dry when you get in a bit of the rough tuff out in the Gulf of Mexico. In the intercoastal you would have to work at it to find a wake that will even get you wet or spill your beer. She is a solid handler and cuts the water like a knife through butter. This boat has a mini tunnel just before the beefy 200hp Yamaha 4 stroke that means she will squat and then put you up on plane almost immediately when you  get on her and at the same time she will run more efficiently than most boats without this setup.

   Right out of the box this is a complete fishing machine. She has a wonderful casting platform out front as well as a factory equipped Minn-Kota trolling motor that is placed intelligently enough that it is not in the way when you want to use the forward casting platform without using the trolling motor. The trolling motor itself is well thought out in most details, not just in placement but the mount was selected based on its ability to keep the motor from bouncing all over the place when you are running in and out at speed.

   The rear casting platform is adequate and there is plenty of room between the console and the sides for those times when you get a big fish on and have to get to the front of the boat to work it. Granted you can work most fish from the rear platform but it is nice to know that when you have to get to the front and just let that 150lb tarpon or 500lb shark drag you around for a bit that you can get there without anything in your way. The 4 aluminum rod holders on the back make trolling this boat nice and the seat behind the console makes a pretty good redneck fighting chair in a pinch but the boat is light enough that all one really has to do is stand down in the cockpit and work up to the forward platform which is pretty nicely laid out. There is a small "step-down" from the sides of the boat that allows you to dig your foot in and really fight the big fish when you have to. Like I said before though - the boat is light enough that you will have a huge fish on before you have to.  

   For flats fishing this boat is already rigged out with a power pole shallows anchor that will keep you on your favorite spot in the flats. Her shallow draft means she can get in pretty much anywhere on the flats without hurting her. The location of the console is pretty nice in that while you are motoring in with the engine up, you can spot obstacles (or fish) on your way to your spot and for shorter people, the windshield can be removed.  The jackplate on the back means that you can raise the engine up rather than tilting it so you have good, solid low speed control in the shallows and at the same time provides a way for the engine to get clogged with weeds a lot less than the old way when you trimmed (tilted) it up and sucked up every bit of grass, mud and so on on your way. Jackplates make wandering the flats so much nicer. This boat was not rigged with some cheapie jackplate either. This boat has a real Flats-Jac with all the quality hydraulics and controls you expect from Flats Jac.

     There is ample rod storage for 3 or 4 guys to carry a full days fishing gear and there are lots of storage compartments all over the place.  Plus she has 18 and a 32 gallon live wells that just make life nice when you go to reach for bait. Both the front and rear livewells are easily accessible with old school pump / aerator / overflow combos that are extremely effective at keeping your bait investment alive yet at the same time are not in your way. The real bonus with these livewells is that even though you just about have to leave them on all day, the pumps are not battery sucking monsters but rather high quality, low amperage pumps selected with a full day and into the nights fishing in mind. That brings us to batteries - yup - stock trolling motor batter and your usual 1 starting battery with 1 deep cycle for running your accessories all day. The stitches are easy to get to as is all wiring on this boat. I looked over the wiring on one of them when we were planning to rig some additional electronics for a customer and this is a really nice job - nice proper disconnects where necessary and all of the connectors I saw were well sealed which means this boat was designed to be around a while with no wiring hassles like a lot of other brands.

    The stock electronics package on these boats is pretty impressive as well. There is an Excellent Raymarine A65 chartplotter with fishfinder option (included) that is full color and gives a really easy to read display in the day and at night you can dim it down and it will still be easy to see while at the same time wont throw so much light that it impedes tight nighttime navigation. There is also a Raymarine VHF radio and all the standard Yamaha digital guages but back on that A65...... While I strongly recommend using common sense and not counting on just a GPS device to keep you in the channel, the A65 unit I had on my WellCraft V-20 was very impressive. Accurate to a tight enough range that I was often looking at it to get a bearing of where the next marker should be when in strange waters at night. These A65's are some rugged units too - the one I had on my V-20 took one heck of a pounding and had a lot of water over it on more than one occasion and it never failed me. While this one does not come with it there are some small enough RayMarine Radar units that would fit nicely on this boat and make nighttime navigation a lot easier as well as give you excellent weather overlays for those days when you think you might need to be running back in but are not quite sure. Also The A65 units come with some of the nicest chart options and ease of use features that even someone who has never used a real chartplotter before will be comfortable with its use.

   Fuel consumption wise, this boat will not rob you at the pumps either - she is among the most economical in her class to begin with and has been properly propped and tuned for maximum efficiency by the pros at Marine Dynamics which means she aint no slouch in the performance department on those days when you feel like getting on her and running wide open.At optimum cruising speed I would be more than comfortable running her to the keys knowing that there will still be fuel in the tank when I get there. Goodland Round Trip from Englewood, Not a prob and still go fishing a couple of times during the week too!.

This boat has all the usual stuff like a huge cooler too and let us not forget the Lenco trim tabs mounted to this slick, hand laid fiberglass hull.  All in all while I did not have time to fish her or do much more than run into the flats and take some water samples... I was very impressed with this boat.

   Give Mark a call at 941-716-4200 to arrange a seatrial of this slick little fishing machine today.

Click on any image to enlarge

   Now here is a pretty slick bay and shallows fishing boat that would be equally at home on your favorite lake yet can still take a run out in the Gulf when you want. Make no Mistake about it this boat is every bit as respectable as her Tidewater Boats competition In fact it is a really close tie in my opinion. Having had the opportunity to run both vessels out this is an excellent choice for the person who wants all the features yet does not have the money for A Tidewater 2100 BayMax. While either boat is better built and equipped than a Scout at a far lower price The SeaSwirl 22 bay makes a nice entry level choice for the person who needs a complete fishing package yet cant afford to jump up to the top of the line just yet.

   Running her out we find that she is light and nimble. The hull is solid and hard, ample deck drains to keep the cockpit dry when you get in a bit of the rough tuff out in the Gulf of Mexico. In the intercoastal you would have to work at it to find a wake that will even get you wet or spill your beer. She is a solid handler and cuts the water like a knife through butter. This boat has a mini tunnel just before the beefy 200hp Yamaha 4 stroke that means she will squat and then put you up on plane almost immediately when you  get on her and at the same time she will run more efficiently than most boats without this setup.

   Right out of the box this is a complete fishing machine. She has a wonderful casting platform out front as well as a factory equipped Minn-Kota trolling motor that is placed intelligently enough that it is not in the way when you want to use the forward casting platform without using the trolling motor. The trolling motor itself is well thought out in most details, not just in placement but the mount was selected based on its ability to keep the motor from bouncing all over the place when you are running in and out at speed.

   The rear casting platform is adequate and there is plenty of room between the console and the sides for those times when you get a big fish on and have to get to the front of the boat to work it. Granted you can work most fish from the rear platform but it is nice to know that when you have to get to the front and just let that 150lb tarpon or 500lb shark drag you around for a bit that you can get there without anything in your way. The 4 aluminum rod holders on the back make trolling this boat nice and the seat behind the console makes a pretty good redneck fighting chair in a pinch but the boat is light enough that all one really has to do is stand down in the cockpit and work up to the forward platform which is pretty nicely laid out. There is a small "step-down" from the sides of the boat that allows you to dig your foot in and really fight the big fish when you have to. Like I said before though - the boat is light enough that you will have a huge fish on before you have to.  

   For flats fishing this boat is already rigged out with a power pole shallows anchor that will keep you on your favorite spot in the flats. Her shallow draft means she can get in pretty much anywhere on the flats without hurting her. The location of the console is pretty nice in that while you are motoring in with the engine up, you can spot obstacles (or fish) on your way to your spot and for shorter people, the windshield can be removed.  The jackplate on the back means that you can raise the engine up rather than tilting it so you have good, solid low speed control in the shallows and at the same time provides a way for the engine to get clogged with weeds a lot less than the old way when you trimmed (tilted) it up and sucked up every bit of grass, mud and so on on your way. Jackplates make wandering the flats so much nicer. This boat was not rigged with some cheapie jackplate either. This boat has a real Flats-Jac with all the quality hydraulics and controls you expect from Flats Jac.

     There is ample rod storage for 3 or 4 guys to carry a full days fishing gear and there are lots of storage compartments all over the place.  Plus she has 18 and a 32 gallon live wells that just make life nice when you go to reach for bait. Both the front and rear livewells are easily accessible with old school pump / aerator / overflow combos that are extremely effective at keeping your bait investment alive yet at the same time are not in your way. The real bonus with these livewells is that even though you just about have to leave them on all day, the pumps are not battery sucking monsters but rather high quality, low amperage pumps selected with a full day and into the nights fishing in mind. That brings us to batteries - yup - stock trolling motor batter and your usual 1 starting battery with 1 deep cycle for running your accessories all day. The stitches are easy to get to as is all wiring on this boat. I looked over the wiring on one of them when we were planning to rig some additional electronics for a customer and this is a really nice job - nice proper disconnects where necessary and all of the connectors I saw were well sealed which means this boat was designed to be around a while with no wiring hassles like a lot of other brands.

    The stock electronics package on these boats is pretty impressive as well. There is an Excellent Raymarine A65 chartplotter with fishfinder option (included) that is full color and gives a really easy to read display in the day and at night you can dim it down and it will still be easy to see while at the same time wont throw so much light that it impedes tight nighttime navigation. There is also a Raymarine VHF radio and all the standard Yamaha digital guages but back on that A65...... While I strongly recommend using common sense and not counting on just a GPS device to keep you in the channel, the A65 unit I had on my WellCraft V-20 was very impressive. Accurate to a tight enough range that I was often looking at it to get a bearing of where the next marker should be when in strange waters at night. These A65's are some rugged units too - the one I had on my V-20 took one heck of a pounding and had a lot of water over it on more than one occasion and it never failed me. While this one does not come with it there are some small enough RayMarine Radar units that would fit nicely on this boat and make nighttime navigation a lot easier as well as give you excellent weather overlays for those days when you think you might need to be running back in but are not quite sure. Also The A65 units come with some of the nicest chart options and ease of use features that even someone who has never used a real chartplotter before will be comfortable with its use.

   Fuel consumption wise, this boat will not rob you at the pumps either - she is among the most economical in her class to begin with and has been properly propped and tuned for maximum efficiency by the pros at Marine Dynamics which means she aint no slouch in the performance department on those days when you feel like getting on her and running wide open.At optimum cruising speed I would be more than comfortable running her to the keys knowing that there will still be fuel in the tank when I get there. Goodland Round Trip from Englewood, Not a prob and still go fishing a couple of times during the week too!.

This boat has all the usual stuff like a huge cooler too and let us not forget the Lenco trim tabs mounted to this slick, hand laid fiberglass hull.  All in all while I did not have time to fish her or do much more than run into the flats and take some water samples... I was very impressed with this boat.

   Give Mark a call at 941-716-4200 to arrange a seatrial of this slick little fishing machine today.

Click on any image to enlarge

While this vessel is not a true and correct Fish Hawk, she has had all the same mods done to her that I would and have done to many of my personal Chris Craft boats. From the get go the most popular mod for these boats is to get rid of the I/O and put on a real outboard engine. Whoever did this one did it right. The stinger tail is light and skinny but strong enough to be respectable on a boat 4 or 5 feet longer and a lot heavier than this particular boat. There is a Big Johnson 225 Ocean Pro Series on the back that wont let you down. This is one of the Johnsons you hear about from your buddies as the one that cost real money new. They are legendary for being beefy enough to run you out wide open or kick her back and just sip the fuel. The part that made the real legend though is that they can idle along for days on end without fouling their plugs like a lot of other 2-strokes of this (and the current) era are prone to do. At trolling speeds, this engine on this boat should sip less than 1/2 a gallon an hour which means she wont kill you at the pumps when you top her off after a couple days worth of hardcore Gulf fishing trolling the wrecks. There are good sized storage compartments in abundance. There are Ample live wells located right in the fishing deck and someone took the time along the way to upgrade the aerator pumps to more modern ones that I would not be afraid to put 100 dozen medium shrimp in and would know that the last dozen a couple of days later would still be alive. Plus with all that deck space there is plenty of room for a couple of barrel tanks and with that big, thick Chris hull under you, you know you are not going to squat the boat like you would with a lot of lesser hulls. Lets look at the Hull, not a soft spot in her - not even the top of the cabin. I walked this boat stem to stern and she is still just as solid today as she was the day she left Chris Craft's factory. But then again you can expect that from a Chris Craft boat. She has Thick, Laid in fiberglass throughout that you wont find on a lot of other boats - Chris Crafts Philosophy has always been "damn the money - build it to last" and you better believe they do. Knock down the sides of the hull on this boat and you are not going to find resonance anywhere, just a good sharp knock sound. the captain and mates seats are comfy, good all day seats with footrests to relieve the strain. At the helm all the controls are in easy reach and there are large easy to read gauges so you dont have to strain to see or wonder what they are reading. Nice little VHF radio already installed too. Below decks there is a head that has enough holding capacity for those weekend camping trips with the family, nicely sealed up one that doesn't leave tha cabin smelling like a lot of others are prone to do. There is a roomy V-berth you would expect on aboat of about 28ft or more but Chris Craft managed to get the cabin arranged for maximum space usage. There is storage under the V-berth for all your gear too. There is a full sized kids bunk that can easily hold an adult no prob (2 if they like each other). A marine stereo with some pretty good speakers is installed below as well. A little stove and a nice cabinet of drawers round out the cabins complements. All in all this is one sweet old Chris Craft boat that needs nothing to run out today and will still be rugged when you are ready to pass it on to your kids Years from now.

Call Mark at 941-716-4200 to arrange a sea trial of this timeless Chris Craft fishing machine today! $9,833.00

Click on any image to enlarge

Looking for a Nice Party Barge that you can entertain from? Yet You still want to fish?.

   Well we don't get these often but there is a Harris Here at Marine Dynamics that covers both needs.

As a Pontoon / Party Barge this a is one of the classier platforms out there. 22 Feet in length makes an excellent entertainment platform for your family and friends and that Quiet running little Yamaha 115 out back means you wont have to raise your voice to cruise along and the stereo will sound good at low volume too!

  For fishing this is an excellent platform as you can set the bimini all the way or just "half boat" it and use the roomy forward deck for a comfortable casting platform. The chairs on the forward deck are ready for a full day of fishing. Worming this girl into the shallows is not a problem - she has plenty of flotation, just trim the engine up and getting into a foot or so of water over the grass flats is not a problem.

   Now here is something you dont run across every day either - not only is this a good party barge, she has dive ladders and that 115 Yamaha outboard back there means that this is a pontoon your kids can actually ski from!. Break out the water toys - this old girl is ready! Pop a couple three or so folks out back on inner tubes if you like - this is a good platform for it. Also since the decks are roomy enough, one could pull an observation float with a looking glass to see the bottom with. This boat looks like she had the over the side mount buckets with glass bottoms at one time.... Pop a set back on and you have underwater entertainment that will keep folks amazed and amused for hours.

   She still has her dive ladders for sides, front and rear stashed in the storage compartment and all her faucets and such work in the sink. She was well cared for by her previous owners and needs nothing more than her new master or mistress' personal touches to provide years of boating fun.

   Electronics wise there is a full compliment of gauges as well as all the standard instrumentation one would expect from a Harris.

   At $3995.00 you are basically buying the entire boat for less than what the engine alone is worth!

   Call Mark at 941-716-4200 to arrange a seatrial of this vessel today!

OK Now Ed in parts over at Marine Dynamics can get you most of this stuff but you will have to have your engine model ready - usually the one he will want is the serial number off of the tilt. This article is designed around 4 stroke inboards and I/O's I will do a revamp of the 2 stroke article later on.

First thing you want to do is make sure you have good spark. I can't stress enough how this makes a difference. There are several things you can do to improve your spark.

First off: Get good wires. That extra 30 or 40 bucks for a set of Accel Yellow Wires or Moroso Blues may seem like a lot but when you think about it what you save in fuel alone is going tro be a heck of a lot more. I personally prefer teh Accel 9MM solid core wires and make my own from a spool but places like Marine Dynamics in Englewood will make them for you if you are feeling lazy. Dont think for one second that a stock set of wires is delivering every last ounce of spark to your plugs - it aint happening. Also be religious about getting good water tight boots and changing your wires every couple of years (no matter what it says on the box).

Number Two: Run Good Spark Plugs...

There are any number of aftermarket plugs out there and a lot of them dont have a direct cross reference but again I can recommend Ed in Parts or any other parts dealer that will take the time to either look it up for you or hand you the books and let you cross reference on your own.

When cross referencing your plug you need to know the heat range, thread size, and lenght of threads. Boom - the rest is common sense.

There are any number of excellent plugs out there. Bosch Platinum +4's are about the best universally and are followed by Splitfires only because Splitfires go bad more often. Either way, replace them every hundred hours or when you feel the engine not quite hitting right.

Number Three: Get good spark coils or coil packs.

There are several manufacturers making coils out there and number one in my heart has always been Accel followed by MSD. A higer than stock coil will give you way better spark resulting in a way better burn of your fuel. I still run old fashoined distributors and go with the big Yellow Accel Super coils and I do have one V-12 with an Ishamel ignition system that uses 12 super coils. Note too that a lot of the stock coil packs are really 6 or 8 individual coils and you can wire in Super Coils in their place - expensive but worth it. Most of the Coil Pack replacements are not much higher voltage than stock coils so be careful and make sure you are selecting a hi performance, high voltage solution.

OK so so far based on say a 350 GM block in a 22ft boat with a 100 gallon tank - we have just given you an extra 2-3 hours of run time on that tank. Now think about that a bit - That means your normal 8-9 gallons an hour has dropped enough to where you have indeed spent some money but you have also made it to where as long as you are religious about changing your plugs and wires - it is a permanent economy gain. Sure it gave you a few extra ponies and makes it all feel peppier but if you run it the same as you normally did before, you have saved yourself money every time you top off your tank for the rest of the time you own your boat.

Number 4: ALWAYS USE GOOD OIL.

  Good oil is one of the top fuel saving weapons in your arsenal. Change your oil on time every time. You will have to expiriement a bit to see which one gives you the best economy in your particular engine but some helpful hints are:

Run synthetic if at all possible. Mobil 1 is good as is Castrol Syntec among others. Which one gives you better economy depends on the engine in question. For Example in one of my boats I have Cummins Vt-555's and suck down 11 gallons an hour (each) at 40knots on Mobil one yet if I put in Castrol I drop down to 9 gallons an hour (each) at the same speed. I had an extra 30 gallons of Yamaha Synthetic laying around one time and ended out needing stock in OPEC at 14 gallons an hour.   Another old Chris craft I had; had a pair of 350 GM blocks in her and would guzzle over 30 gallons an hour on any synthetic oil and when I dropped in some cheal Valvoline Semi-Synthetic one time she only sucked down about 25 gallons an hour - I stayed with the semi synthetic after that. It definitely depends on the engine as to which oil is best and that is something you will have to use a little common sense trial and error to figure out but as a general set of rules consider pure Synthetic, then Semi Synthetic. For older engines with a lot of hours on them Synthetic is still an option but I would recommend changing your pan gasket and valve cover gaskets before making the switch.

Another thing on oil is forget the manufacturers intervals - change your oil at about 1/2 the time the engine manufacturer says - this will not only make your engine last a lot longer - you wont have that performance lag that oil gets as it starts to go bad.

If you are running an inboard... keep everything greased and keep your transmissions topped off to proper levels.

For you I/O guys the same rule applies - service that lower unit - use good gear lubes and grease - they will pay for themselves many times in what you would waste in gas.

  Carbs and injectors:

Hey if you are running this new fangled electronic fuel injection crap..... Best I can tell you is get a performance chip or entire performance computer dialed in for your engine. At the same time though I would recommend running a good cleaner through every other tank or so and there are any number of fuel injector cleaners out there - Sea Foam seems to work the best followed a close second by Yamaha Ring Free.

     Carb guys Now here we can help a bit.... You are probably already running a pretty good intake but just in case I might recommend Edelbrock or Offenhauser to you guys still running inefficient stock crap (especially on GM blocks). There are many and you have to decide if you need one that is efficient at providing torque or at providing speed - yes they even make some designed to provide economy but I strongly recommend evaluating how you run your boat and lean towards torque or speed

.There are a number of replacement carbs out there to replace your leaky, inefficient old one and The Edelbrock family seems to be the most efficient. If you are currently running a spread bore, you may want to consider an adapter plate and going with a square bore Edelbrock for the simple reason that they are among the mos efficient 4 barrels out there and are basically the same as the Webers we used to run back in the day - granted they are designed for performance but as long as you continue to run as you normally would - they will provide a better, more efficient mix than most stock carbs and therefore improve your fuel economy.

   Most of you will not have to go to the extreme of going with a new carb, just take the time to make sure they are: clean, in good shape and jetted properly. 7 out of 10 engines I see running out there on the water are not optimally jetted. What you do is get a glass test plug, pop that sucker in and dial in your jets till you see a nice bunsen blue in all rpm ranges. If possible do your normal running rpm under load while running or on a dynaload (artificial load dyno ) You may have to swap out metering rods, swap out jets... Depends on what carbs you are running. Taking the time to do this is well worth it though - one kid here at the marina is running an older carbureted 1977 Camaro and just by dialing it in properly we were able to take him from 17mpg to an average of 27 - with a good set of coils he is throwing 31mpg around town average - this is from a 305 GM block we pulled out of a boat and we still have all the catalytic perverters attached to the exhaust!

      Props: A good propeller is something to behold. Now they have charts out there that will tell you a generic prop for your boat/engine combination but in reality you need to find a marina that will allow you to leave a deposit and try out several props they way you run your boat. Most of the prop charts are going to give you max speed at a certain tested load and not necessarily the speed you run at or the load you usually run with.  You have to try several in the right size/pitch range and see which one gives you the fewest gallons per hour the way you run your boat. Granted if you are running a stock prop.. A Solas brand prop will be your biggest improvement with Mercury Quicksilver props coming in second for efficiency - As a general rule..Stock props are the cheapest junk the manufacturers could lay their hands on and are intended to meet only general needs rather than your particular style of running/loading your boat. If you cant afford a Solas or a Quicksilver... Go with a Michigan Prop - they are cheap but strong and while lacking in all the fine tuning of real performance props, it will generally still give you that fuel mileage edge to have a properly dialed in prop combo on your engine.

    A lot of prop shops will cup a prop for you but this can go either way - if you are already at the threshold for where you normally run it will cost you fuel... If you are under it will help you save fuel - it is again a trial and error thing.

     Hope this was helpful and sorry I did not go into details as much as some will feel I should have but this is intended as a general set of guidelines not as a complete reference - just the basics to keep in mind when setting up your boat for fuel savings... You gas guys have my deepest sympathies... I love my Diesels!

A Yankee walks into a bar in Florida and clears his throat to the crowd of drinkers.

  He says, "I hear you Floridians are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give 500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 20 shots of Tequila back-to-back."

  The room is quiet, and no one takes up the Yankee's offer.

  One Biker from Alabama even leaves.

  Thirty minutes later the same Biker who left shows up and taps the Yankee on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?" asks the Biker.

  The Yankee says yes and asks the bartender to line up 20 shots of Tequila. Immediately the Biker tears into all 20 of the shot glasses, drinking them all back-to-back.

  The other bar patrons cheer as the Yankee sits in amazement.

  The Yankee gives the Biker the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"

  The Biker replies, "Oh, I had to go to the bar down the street to see if I could do it first."

  Never ask a Floridian to do a Bama Boys job!

A doctor and a lawyer met at a party. Their conversation was
interrupted repeatedly by guests asking the doctor for medical advice.
Finally, the exasperated doctor turned to the lawyer and said, "Tell
me, what do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice
when you're out of the office?"
"When they ask, I give them advice", replied the lawyer, "and then I
send them a bill in the morning."
The doctor decided to take the lawyer's advice and for the rest of the
evening wrote down the names and addresses of everyone who approached
him for advice. The next morning he took out the list, just as his
secretary walked into his office and handed him a bill from the
lawyer.

   A disgruntled soldier was  jaded with the inefficiency of the army. He
transferred to different regiments, only to be faced with constant displays
of ineptitude. As a last resort he tried the paratroopers, where things
looked to be improving. As he soared into the air for the first jump, his
instructor gathered all the trainees together. "There's nothing to this,
men. After you jump, count to ten and pull on your ripcord to open your
parachute. If that fails, you have an auxilliary chute. This is
activated by
second ripcord, which you should pull after counting to five. We will
have a
truck waiting  close to the landing site to take you back to the base."
   When he jumped out and counted to ten, he quickly discovered the rip
cord
flapping freely in his hand.
   When he pulled the second cord, it also detached itself. And as he
rocketed down past his startled comrades, they heard him yelling: "This
@&^%*?# army! They probably don't have a truck down there either!"
   Sadly he never grasped the gravity of his situation.

George W. Bush, Vladimir Putin, and Bill Gates were called in by God.
God informed them that he was very unhappy about what was going on in
this world. Since things were so bad, he told the three that he was
destroying the Earth in three days.
They were all allowed to return to their homes and businesses, and
tell their friends and colleagues what was happening. God did tell
them though, that no matter what they did he was "not" changing his
mind.
So, W. went in and told his staff, "I have good news and bad news for
you. First the good news . . . there is a God. The bad news is that he
is destroying the Earth in 3 days."
Putin went back and told his staff, "I have bad news and more bad
news. The first was . . . there is a God. The second was that he is
destroying the Earth in 3 days."
Bill Gates went back and told his staff, "I have good news and good
news. First . . . God thinks I am one of the three most important
people in the world. Second . . . you don't have to fix the bugs in
Windows Vista."

All Star Trek fans know the voice-activated computer on the USS
Enterprise, especially Jean-Luc Picard's famous "Earl Grey, hot"
request for tea. But what if the Enterprise was equipped with voice-
recognition software based on current technology?
PICARD: Computer.
COMPUTER: [chirp] Welcome to the USS Enterprise Voice Recognition
System. If you know the extension of the person you'd like to call,
please say it now. For environmental changes, please say
"environment." For access to records and documents, please say
"records." For entertainment options, please say "entertainment." For
information on ship systems and diagnostics, please say, diagnostics."
For the replicator, please say "replicator." For--
PICARD: Replicator.
COMPUTER: You said "diagnostics." Is that correct?
PICARD: No.
COMPUTER: You said, "No." Is that correct?
PICARD: Yes.
COMPUTER: I'm sorry. Please state your request again. For
environmental changes, please say "environment." For--
PICARD: Replicator.
COMPUTER: You said "replicator." Is that correct?
PICARD: Yes.
COMPUTER: Thank you. Please state what you would like to replicate.
PICARD: Earl Grey, hot.
COMPUTER: You said, "Whirled whey in a pot." Is that correct?
PICARD: What? No.
COMPUTER: You said, "No." Is that correct?
PICARD: Yes.
COMPUTER: I'm sorry. Please state your request again.
PICARD: Earl Grey, hot.
COMPUTER: You said, "Pearl day, shot." Is that correct?
PICARD: No.
COMPUTER: You said, "No." Is that correct?
PICARD: Yes.
COMPUTER: I'm sorry. Please state your request again.
PICARD: Earl...Grey...hot.
COMPUTER: You said, "Girl gay, hot." I'm sorry, but we cannot
replicate human beings. If you wish female companionship, please visit
our lounge, Ten-Forward.
PICARD: I didn't say "girl gay," blast you.
COMPUTER: I'm sorry. Please state your request again.
PICARD: Oh, for heaven's sakes. Look, I want a cup of Earl Grey tea.
And make it hot.
COMPUTER: You said, "Zero-four Blevin's rakes hook a font couple Curly
May pee and naked hot." Is that correct?
PICARD: Oh, forget it. I'll just use a teapot.

   If you read this without laughing out loud,
    there is something wrong with you. This is
    dedicated to every woman who ever attempted
    to get into regular workout routine.
    Dear Diary..
    For my fiftieth birthday this year, my
    husband (the dear) purchased a week of
    personal training at the local health club
    for me. Although I am still in great shape
  since playing on my high school softball team,
    decided it would be a good idea to go ahead
    and give it a try.
    I called the club and made my reservations
    with a personal trainer I'll call Bruce, who
    identified himself as a 26 year old aerobics
    instructor and model for athletic clothing and
    swim wear. My husband seemed pleased with my
    enthusiasm to get started.
    The club encouraged me to keep a diary to
    chart my progress.
    Monday:
    Started my day at 6:00am. Tough to get out of
    bed, but found it was well worth it when I
    arrived at the health club to find Bruce
    waiting for me. He is something of a Greek God
    - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling
    white smile. Woo Hoo!!
    Bruce gave me a tour and showed me the machines.
    He took my pulse after five minutes on the
    treadmill.  He was alarmed that my pulse was so
    fast, but I attribute it to standing next to him
    in his Lycra aerobic outfit.
    I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he
    conducted his aerobics class after my workout
    today. Very inspiring. Bruce was encouraging as
    I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already
    aching from holding it in the whole time he was
    around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!
    Tuesday:
    I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally
    made it out the door. Bruce made me lie on my
    back and push a heavy iron bar into the air-then
    he put weights on it! My legs were a little
    wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile.
    Bruce's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile.
    I feel GREAT!!  It's a whole new life for me.
    Wednesday:
    The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying
    on the toothbrush on the counter and moving my
    mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a
    hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long
    as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on
    top of a GEO in the club parking lot.
    Bruce was impatient with me, insisting that my
    screams bothered other club members. His voice
    is a little too perky for early in the morning
    and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine
  that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got
    on the treadmill, so Bruce put me on the stair
    monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a
    machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete
    by elevators?
    Bruce told me it would help me get in shape and
    enjoy life. He said some other shit too.
    Thursday:
    Bruce was waiting for me with his vampire-like
    teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled
    back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a
    half an hour late, it took me that long to tie
    my shoes. Bruce took me to work out with dumbbells.
    When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the men's
    room. He sent Lars to find me, then, as punishment,
    put me on the rowing machine-which I sank.
    Friday:
    I hate that bastard Bruce more than any human being
    has ever hated any other human being in the history
    of the world.  Stupid, skinny, anemic little
    cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could
    move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.
    Bruce wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have
    any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the
    floor, don't hand me the < @*%23$>&*@*#$
    barbells or anything that weighs more than a
    sandwich.  (Which I am sure you learned in the
    sadist school you attended and graduated magna cum
    laude from.)
    The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health
    and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been
    someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir
    director?
    Saturday:
    Bruce left a message on my answering machine in his
    grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show
    up today. Just hearing him made me want to smash
  the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the
    strength to even use the TV remote and ended up
    catching eleven straight hours of the *$@#&& Weather
    Channel.
    Sunday:
    I'm having the Church van pick me up for services
    today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is
    over. I will also pray that next year my husband
    (the A**HOLE) will choose a gift for me that is fun
    --like a root canal or a hysterectomy.

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached the final
plateau.
       If she answered the next question correctly, she would win
$1,000,000.  If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the
$25,000 milestone money.
       And as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was
no pushover.
       It was, "Which of the following species of birds does not build
its own
       nest but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it:
       A) the condor
       B) the buzzard
       C) the cuckoo
       D) the vulture
       The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. She had
used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Ask the Audience Lifeline. All that
remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline. She hoped she would not have
to use it because ... Her friend was, well--blonde.
       But she had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the
       question and the four choices.
       The blonde responded unhesitatingly: "That's easy. The answer is
C: the cuckoo."
       The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast.
       She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Meredith any
       answer except the one that her friend had given her. And
considering her friend was a blonde that would seem to be the logical
thing to do.
       But her friend had responded with such confidence, such
certitude, that the contestant could not help but be persuaded.
       "I need an answer," said Meredith.
       Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, "C: The cuckoo."
       "Is that your final answer?"
       "Yes, that is my final answer."
       And Meredith replied, "That answer is absolutely correct! You are
now a millionaire!"
       Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and
       friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million
dollars.
       "Jeni, I just do not know how to thank you," said the contestant.
        "How did you happen to know the right answer?"
       "Oh, come on," said the blonde... "Everybody knows that cuckoos
don't build nests. They live in clocks!"

The impotent bus driver goes to see his doctor.  He wants some Viagra, but
he doesn't want his wife to know about it. The doc prescribes it for him, he
heads to the pharmacist, who fills the prescription. Home is a good hour
away so the bus driver quickly downs one of the little blue pills. When he
gets home, he doesn't even have to tell his wife with words. That twinkle in
his eye speaks volumes. They tear off each others clothes and are quickly in
bed. He manages to "rise to the occasion" three times. Three times! He
expects his wife to be delighted, but instead, she seems rather sad. "What's
wrong, dear?" he asks. "I think your job is taking over every aspect of your
life and it's doing you in," she sighs. "What do you mean?" "I mean, even
our sex life is like the bus service. Nothing for ages, and then -- three
come all at once!"

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it
is worth reflecting on the death last week of a very important person,
which almost went unnoticed.
Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote 'The Hokey Pokey' died peacefully at
the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him
into the coffin.
They put his left leg in, and then the trouble started.

How To Save the Government $5 Million
A president's pension currently is $191,300 per year, until he is 80 years
old.
Assuming the next president lives to age 80. Sen. McCain would receive ZERO
pension as he would reach 80 at the end of two terms as president. Sen.
Obama would be retired for 26 years after two terms and would receive
$4,973,800 in pension.
Therefore it would certainly make economic sense to elect McCain in
November.
How's that for non partisan thinking?

Dedeuce - forgetting the score at a tennis match.
Enginears: Proximity detector for locomotives.
Racketeer - what a tennis player suffers from when his opponent wallops
him round the side of the head with the bat.
Umpire - Hunchback of Notre Dame on fire at a tennis match in spite of
thinking he's at a cricket match and loping around shouting, "The
bailes! The bailes!"
Car Barretta - what a priest wears while he's driving.
(If I've spelled it wrong, he's ballasted-well going along with a
resistance lamp on his head. Dangerous! It'll make him feel light
headed!)
Impose - what a male artist's model does.
Indisposition - how the artist would like him to stand.
Santa Claws - Edward Scissorhands gets a new job!
Muggy - a humid day just before Teuggy, Weggy and Thurggy.
Icicle - a vocal utterance on a very cold day.